i need a new email address

younglifesam@yahoo.com won't be accurate in 7 months. I'm currently taking suggestions for my new email address.

It's official...Brad and I are leaving YL staff. We've done a lot of praying and believe God is leading our steps as we leave the ministry. We have had conversation after conversation with friends, donors, committee members, family, high school friends, alumni friends...

We have two kids now. Having two kids means double nap schedules, mealtimes, bedtimes. All things which are all VERY important for happy family operations. Unfortunately I'm unable to spend as much time outside of the house. Which means I haven't been as able to interact with kids in their every day life (games, plays, choir concerts, dance performances). Brad has done a lot of this important relationship building on his own. We felt called to this ministry as a team. It is blatantly obvious in our relationship that Brad has specific strengths that cover my weaknesses and vice versa. We are a team...an excellent team. With the recent additions to our family, and the attention we so desperately want to devote to their little lives, we are unable to be "excellent" at YL right now.

We could be good. There's enough of a YL tradition in Harrisonville, there's enough support in Harrisonville, we know enough kids to be good...but we want excellence for YL. We want excellence in relationships with kids. It's humbling really...to admit you're no longer excellent at something you love. It's also comforting...to know that it has been God working through us this entire time....not of my own strength, but of His, has anything good happened while we've been here.

You see, this has been a shock to us. We considered ourselves Young Lifers for life. We thought we would always be involved in direct ministry. We pictured children fitting into our schedule rather than us adjusting to theirs. When it was just Rory, that was feasible. Rory came with us. We held her during basketball games, she slept through the state football game, and spent countless nights in the homes of our committee members while we led club. Emme's arrival was different. Now in addition to a lively 2 1/2 year old to entertain, we have a baby to hold/keep warm/feed/change.

It's a lot to juggle...and it seems like I've recently I've struggled too much with guilt.

Guilt that I'm not good enough. It feels like something is always being compromised...whether it's the ministry, or my patience with the girls, or my attitude toward Brad...I never did learn how to juggle.

We believe this decision has been made with God's guidance. But it's scary to step out of your comfort zone...even if you're not supposed to be there anymore.

I'll miss the people of Harrisonville. I love them...you.