we all wear different lenses

A while ago I heard a theory that each of us view the entire world through lenses which, in effect, have our beliefs written on them. Beliefs which come from our experiences...good and bad. When something is said to me with the purest of intentions, I can put a myriad of "intentions" behind it by applying my own personal beliefs about myself and the world around me.

Sometimes I must consciously choose to take off those lenses so I can fully appreciate the way others experience the world. Case in point...

I was reading an acquaintance's blog the other day. I don't even think she knows I read it...one of the beauties of the internet...anonymity. However, she is a very talented writer...witty, intelligent, and substantial. I respect her.

In this particular post she made a comment about kids being "expensive and getting in the way of her career." I don't think she intented for my heart to drop when I read that comment...but it did. Of course, I'm reading it through lenses that say things like, "Having kids may be hard but it's worth it." and "You're still interesting even though most of your world revolves around your girls right now."

Reading that made me feel like I had taken a wrong detour. Like I should've done something else first before having kids...do something important...bigger? A lot of money was spent on a private college education for me. Does being able to put together your children's Christmas toys justify such an expense? Then the mother inside of me takes over and I teeter back to an intense defense of my choices. What could be more important than raising children? Maybe it's not the most important of all callings, but it is up there with the best of them, right? I wanted to do this first...having children didn't get in the way of my career...it is my career. When I look at those faces I rest assured knowing that two little lives will never know the pain of abuse or the agony of feeling utterly alone. I know that their parents will try their hardest to reveal to them the truth of God and his intense love for them...even deeper than our own. We will share memories of dancing in the living room with the music blaring. Whether or not I am able to shower them with material items, they will be showered with laughter and kisses, and every day they will listen to their mom and dad sing to them before going to bed, and the last words they will hear as the lights are turned out will be, "You are my favorite you."

I'm sure if my fellow blogger were to read my words they would bring up intense emotions within her...ones that I did not intend to awaken. We are both doing what's right, living our lives to the best of our abilities in the moments that we are currently in. It's not really what she said that bothers me, it's what I let myself say all too often in my head that is the problem.