Wednesday, November 29, 2006

bittersweet

Warning: This is not a perky post.

I was conversing with Emme the other day. If she's particularly alert during a feeding and she catches my eye while nursing, she smiles and starts talking to me. The other day I wasn't in a rush for her to finish eating so I let her talk her little heart out as she laid in my arms. I wondered all the things that moms wonder when their little ones "talk."

What's she saying?

I wonder if she really understands who I am?

What will she be when she grows up?

How am I going to help her understand what Christ did on the cross for her?

How on earth did this person fit inside me? :)

Then a thought struck me. It caught me off guard. I was supposed to have a baby in April of 2006 but unfortunately Brad and I suffered a miscarriage in August of 2005. If I hadn't lost that baby...I wouldn't have gotten pregnant with Emme...and we would have never met her.

It was a hard moment...to look into that precious girl's eyes and at the very same moment I was grieving the loss of one, I was celebrating the life of another.

3 comments:

Amanda said...

Samantha,
I love reading your blog! I found it through our friends' blogs' comments! You are great at keeping it updated. Your little girls are precious!!
:) Amanda

Anonymous said...

Samantha,

What a beautiful post... I have no other words for it. That's an amazing insight into the life...

I'm so glad to have found (after probably a bit of time) your comment on the blog section of our webpage. I didn't even know you could leave a comment on it the way Neil has it set up!

You have such a beautiful family! I can't wait to hear all about how things are going! Please email sometime (dana@neilanddana.com) so we can exchange phone numbers and catch up. I miss you!

Dana (Youngs) McEachen

Anonymous said...

I love you.